Politics

Homer: Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed councilmen, boys and girls, retired people with nothing better to do. Danger comes in many, many forms, from the dinosaurs that tormented our caveman ancestors, to the...

Councilman: Simpson! Get to the point.

Homer: I think we should put a stop sign on D Street and Twelfth. The other...

Councilman: All in favour? Aye. Approved, Meeting adjourned.

Only a moron wouldn't cast his vote for Monty Burns - Party Political Broadcast jingle for Springfield's answer to Citizen Kane (From Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish)

Mr. Burns' Gubernatorial Campaign Advisor: Congratulations, Mr. Burns, the latest polls show you are up six points.

Mr. Burns: Ah, giving me a total of?

Campaign Advisor: Six.

Mary Bailey: My worthy opponent thinks that the voters of this state are gullible fools. I, however, prefer to rely on their intelligence and good judgement.

Reporter: Interesting strategy.

Barney Gumble: An election!? That's one of those deals where they close the bars, isn't it?

Moe: Now there is a politician who cares.

Barney: If I ever vote it will be for him.

Mr. Burns: This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.

Smithers: You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.

Homer: My campaign is a disaster, Moe. I hate the public so much. If only they'd elect me, I'd make them pay.

Kang (or maybe Kodos): The politics of failure has failed, we have to make them work again.

Kang (or maybe Kodos): Abortions for all.

Crowd: Boo-oh!

Kang (or maybe Kodos): No abortions for anyone.

Crowd: Boo-oh!

Kang (or maybe Kodos): Abortions for some, miniature American flags for everyone else.

Crowd: Yeah!

Bart: The dead have risen and they're voting republican