Land of the Free
Principal Skinner: I caught your son defacing school property this morning. We estimate the damage is $75, and frankly, we think it's terribly unfair that other taxpayers should foot the bill.
Homer:Yeah, it's a crummy system, but what are you going to do?
Barney Gumble: An election!? That's one of those deals where they close the bars, isn't it?
Mr. Burns: This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.
Smithers: You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.
Homer: Oh. My dreams will go unfulfilled? Oh, no! I don't like the sound of that one bit. That means I have nothing to hope for. Marge, make it better please, can't you make it better, huh?
Marge: Homer, when a man's biggest dreams include seconds on dessert, occasional snuggling and sleeping in 'til noon on weekends, no one man can destroy them.
Homer: Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people.
Bart: What about Abraham Lincoln?
Homer: He sold poisoned milk to school children.
It's hard to believe there's a place worse than America, but we found it!
Mr Burns: I too am feeling a renewed appreciation for the old US of A, where oppression and government harassment are a small price to pay to live in the land of the free.
Homer: The government knows which library books I'm checking out. Next they'll want to know what operas I attend!
Homer(to a tribe of Native Americans): You people are guests in our country.
Bart: You we're telling me about the time you got out of doing jury duty.
Homer: Oh yeah! It's easy; just tell them that you're prejudiced against all races.
Homer: Marge, please, you don't know how big this government thing is. It goes all the way to the president.
Homer: Lisa, the whole reason we have elected officials is so we don't have to think for ourselves.