Crime and Punishment

Mr. Burns: This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet, if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.

Smithers: You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.

Homer: Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people.

Bart: What about Abraham Lincoln?

Homer: He sold poisoned milk to school children.

Homer: One day honest citizens are going to stand up to corrupt officials like you.

Chief Wiggum: Really! Have the set a date for it?

Prison Rodeo Announcer: Next up’s a real lowlife. Bob Dylan wrote a song to keep him in prison.

Superintendent Chalmers: Well Seymour, it is clear you've been falsely accused, because no one, and I mean no one, would pretend to be a 44-year-old virgin.