Smithers (over the PA): Attention all personnel. Please keep working during the following announcement. And now, our boss and friend, Mr. Burns.
Mr Burns: Hello. I'm proud to announce that we've been able to increase safety here at the plant without increasing the cost to the consumer or affecting management pay raises. However, for you semi-skilled workers, there will be no Christmas bonuses. Oh, and one more thing: Merry Christmas!
TV Commercial: Loaf Time, the cable network for the unemployed, will be back with more tips on how to win the lottery right after this.
Mr Burns: You mean you're willing to give up a good job and a raise, just for your principles?
Homer: Hmmmm, you put it that way it does sound a little far-fetched, but that's the lug your looking at... and I vow to continue spending every free minute I have crusading for safety. Of course, I'd have a lot less of those free minutes if you gave me the job.
Mr Burns: You're not as stupid as you look, or sound, or our best testing indicates.
Mr Burns: Fire that man Smithers, I don't want him, or his unpleasant family ruining my picnic.
Smithers: He'll be gone by the tug-of-war sir.
Mr Burns: Excellent.
Mr Burns: Now it's time to say goodbye. Please get off my property until next year. I suggest you don't dawdle, the hounds will be released in ten minutes.
Mr Burns: Ugh, I've never seen such an obvious attempt to curry my favor.
Smithers: Fabulous observation sir, just fabulous.
Barney Gumble: An election!? That's one of those deals where they close the bars, isn't it?
Mr. Burns: This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.
Smithers: You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.
Homer: If you don't like your job you don't go on strike; you just come in every day and do it really half-assed. It's the American way.
Unidentified Power Plant Worker from the 1930s: You can't treat the working man this way. One day, we'll rise up to get the fair and equitable treatment we deserve! Then we'll go too far and get corrupt, and the Japanese will eat us alive!
Mr Burns: I'd like to come and live in your socialist paradise.
Fidel Castro: You mean Cuba!
Mr Burns: All I'd ask for is preferential treatment on account of my fabulous wealth.
Homer: I can't believe that there's a worse place than America, but we found it.
Mr Burns: I too am feeling a renewed appreciation for the US of A, where oppression and government harassment is a small price to pay to live in the Land of the Free.
Homer: Kill my boss! Do I dare to live out the American dream?
Homer: I won't be in for the rest of the week. ... I told you! My baby beat me up! ... No it is not the worst excuse you've ever heard.
Homer: The three little sentences that will get you through life. One: Cover for me. Two: Oh, good idea, Boss! Three: It was like that when I got here.
Bart: I'm through with working. Work is for chumps.
Homer: Son, I'm proud of you. I was twice your age before I figured that out.
Homer: He may have all the money in the world, but there's one thing he can't buy.
Marge: What's that?
Homer: ... A dinosaur!
Homer: I agree with you in theory Marge. In theory communism worked. In theory.
Smithers: Simpson! Why aren't you at work?
Homer: I made a bad mistake and Lenny sent me home to think about what I did. I don't remember what it was, so I'm watching TV.
Mr Burns: I realise that being waited upon hand and foot is okay for the average Joe, but it's not for me.