Bart: It's just pretend violence, which is actually beneficial to children.
Bart: If you don't watch the violent scenes you'll never de-sensitise yourself to it.
Bart: People of Springfield. Whacking Day's a fraud. It was started as an excuse to beat up the Irish.
Unidentified character with Irish accent: 'Tis true, I suffered many a knock, but sure 'twas all in good fun!
Bart: I didn't crack my skull, you owe me a quarter. - as he whizzes by on his skateboard.
Seymour Skinner: I did not have sexual relations with Ms Krabapple ... because I have never had sexual relations ... I am a virgin.
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