Bart: It doesn't seem possible, but I guess TV has betrayed me.
Overheard TV Commercial: Loaf Time, the cable network for the unemployed, will be back with more tips on how to win the lottery right after this.
Homer: When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
Homer: All right, time for a family meeting. [switching off the TV]
Lisa: Why can't we have a meeting when you're watching TV?
Homer(suggesting the family see a family guidance counsellor): Honey, I've given this matter a lot of study, and of all the commercials I saw, his was the best.
Homer: To save this family we're gonna have to make the supreme sacrifice.
Lisa: No Dad! Please don't pawn the TV!
Bart: Aw come on, Dad, anything but that!
Homer: No beer and no TV make Homer go crazy.
Homer: It's those TV networks, Marge - they won't let me. One quality showafter another, each one fresher and more brilliant than the last. If they only stumbled once, just gave us thirty minutes to ourselves, but they won't! They won't let me live!
Homer: Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
Homer: TV laughs with me, not at me.
Bart: It's just hard not to listen to TV - it's spent so much more time raising us than you have.
Homer: Come on, Marge, I want to shake off the dust of this one-horse town. I want to explore the world. I want to watch TV in a different time zone. Won't you let me live! Please let me live!
Smithers: Simpson! Why aren't you at work?
Homer: I made a bad mistake and Lenny sent me home to think about what I did. I don't remember what it was, so I'm watching TV.
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