States of the Union

Abe Simpson: Dear Mr. President, there are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three.

Barney Gumble: An election!? That's one of those deals where they close the bars, isn't it?

Homer: Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people.
Bart: What about Abraham Lincoln?
Homer: He sold poisoned milk to school children.

Abe Simpson: I'll be deep in a cold, cold ground before I recognise Missour-ay. [Explaining why his flag only has 49 stars]

Bart: Didn't you wonder why you were getting cheques for doing nothing?
Grandpa Simpson: I figured it was because the demmie-crats were back in power.

Homer: You people are guests in our country. [to a tribe of native Americans whose reservation has been overrun by beavers]

Corruptus in Extremis - apparently Springfield's motto going by the crest that frequently appears whenever Mayor Quimby is addressing the townsfolk.

Homer: Marge, you don't know how big this government thing is - it goes all the way to the president.

Mr. Burns: This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.
Smithers: You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.

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