Homer of the Brave

On Science

I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors before he invented the light bulb.

I see they have the Internet on computers now!

If I'm not a nuclear safety wha-cha-ma-gigger I don't know what I am.

Lisa, come in here. In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

The information superhighway showed the average person what some nerd thinks about Star Trek.

On Religion

I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.

I wish God we're alive to see this.

On Trials and Tribulations

I'm just a technical supervisor who cared too much.

I've learned that life is one big crushing defeat after another until you just wish that Flanders was dead.

The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

To alcohol, the cause of, and solution to all life's problems.

Homer: I've learned that life is one big crushing defeat after another until you just wish that Flanders was dead.

On Himself

You have to learn that there's a little Homer Simpson in all of us.

Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand.

I am a patient, reasonable, tolerant, handsome man; but even I have my limits!

Unlike most of you, I am not a nut.

On Politics

The government knows which library books I'm checking out. Next they'll want to know what operas I attend!

You people are guests in our country.- to a tribe of native Americans.

On Labour Relations

If you don't like your job you don't go on strike; you just come in every every day and do it really half-assed. It's the American Way.

Kill my boss! Do I dare to live out the American dream?

If something goes wrong, just blame the guy who can't speak English.

On Marriage

I've only seen this movie twice before; I've slept with you every night for the last eleven years.

On Family Values

Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - during the course of an alien abduction.

OK Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours.

On Health and Medication

They didn't have any aspirin so I got you some cigarettes.

On Death

But I wanted to die choking on food!

On Money

With $10,000 we'd be millionaires! We could buy all sorts of useless stuff, like love.

On Getting out of Jury Duty

It's easy; just tell them that you're prejudiced against all races.

On Tolerance

I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.

Hee hee! Look at this funny country! 'U R gay.'

Why can't you people learn to speak my language? I learned to eat your food!

Uncategorised

That's the last time I'll trust the weirdest people on Earth.

Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand.

But you can't depend on me all your life. You have to learn that there's a little Homer Simpson in all of us.

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves!

No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you.

If you're going to get mad at me every time I do something stupid, then I guess I'll just have to stop doing stupid things!

You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on.

Trying is the first step towards failure.

Stupid risks make life worth living.


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